Depression day


Another depression post from me I am afraid. Rough day today and a rough night last night from the 1.1 carers supposed to be caring for me.

Once again the 1.1 last night upset me. I was in bed but in pain so asked to get back into my wheelchair. After loads of huffing and puffing and general body language of “ I can’t be bothered,” she finally goes and gets another carer to help her.

Unfortunately, I knocked my beaker full of coke off my little table, Again she complained. Having put the empty beaker back on the table she never Offered to refill it or anything.

I’ve told her that she does the bare minimum for me and then with much complaining. Does she realise just how hard it is having to rely on someone for everything without peoples’ generally can’t be arsed attitude making it much worse than it needs to be?

Every time she’s in my 1.1 she has me in tears. Twice this week already. I’ve had enough now. She finally asked if I wanted my drinks refilled. Just after I had to point it out to her.

And it continues

Then this morning (Friday 8th September) It really kicked off. Basically, 1.1 wanted me to have the door of my room open due to the hot weather.

However, I’ve said no. This is because of the noise from other residents. Two residents scream and shout all day. This actually distresses me. She went on to say that I only thought of myself and not the staff. I said I had a fan, and the window was open. She said if the staff fainted on the floor who would look after me then! I was selfish etc

Anyhow the new clinical lead was called and he said to get another fan in for the staff. I said problem solved. All of this upset could have been avoided. My point is that the 1.1 should never have put that onto me. I’m not responsible for the welfare of the carers. Say how would I feel if a staff fainted and who would look after me then is very unfair.

I’ve now stopped keeping myself going, for weeks now I’ve pushed to keep myself going both physically and emotionally whilst dealing with the crap at home

I feel absolutely broken. Nothing more to say really 💔

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